|This year's party was held in the reeking Garlic and Garlic restaurant
in a special; room which was called "The Wizard of Ozz (Aus)" because of
it's peculiar bright orange mushroom orbs on the ceiling and it's vivid
blue background with touches of unknown bright paint daubed across it.
It was Kafka's worst nightmare........a leftover from the hippie movement
Almost thirty cricketers, wives, girlfriends and mistresses were in attendance
and I believe it was a record for the annual bash.
President Taylor got us all under way with his carefully concocted cricket
quiz featuring twenty questions with such brainteasers
as "What was Sir Garfield Sobers middle name?' and who was the oldest player
to play test cricket and at what age.The groups all did surprisingly well
and the first prize of ten free beer tickets was claimed by the Rod Linn
Consortium.My own teem "The Kinky Vampires" came in second and won a fine
bottle of Glenfidich whisky which we drank in about two minutes.
Highlights of the year were discussed.Sumudu's run of centuries.........the
Bulldogs run of victories and only one defeat. Dog Walker having me caught
at the wicket for a golden in the Ashes series only to be reprieved for
a no ball.Such gems as these were bandied about a bit
And then onto the batting and bowling presentations.The famed Batting Cup
now in it's fourth year and sadly looking the worse for wear,what with
one ear missing and a chunk bitten off the side by the inebriated tricky
Dickey Beaumont.A vicious rumour went around that I broke off the ear in
either a fit of rage at having to return it or the ear was shattered into
three pieces like a broken heart .Neither was true of course,and we were
only glad that Rod Linn didn't win it for a third time as under the FIFA
ruling he would have been allowed to keep it in his Showacho hovel
along with his Norwich City memorabilia 'ala ' Brazil withThe Jules Rimet
No,it was deservedly won by Sumudu who scored almost twice as much
as any one else and with three centuries to boot.I often wondered what
it would be like to play with a really gifted player.........now we all
know.Our loss is Fukuoka's gain as this modest and likeable young Sri Lankan
heads off down to Kyushu to study something.
It was the first time this glittering prized batting award had gone to
a non-Englishman by the by.
The bowling award went to Dog Walker the New Zealander who sadly couldn't
attend as he was languishing in prison in Hiroshima.He did send a slightly
witty fax claiming the prize in absentia.We shall meet again young Dog!
The "Player of the Ashes" series was won by none other than Brian "El Gordo"
Slater.Sadly he couldn't get an average as he was never once out,but he
certainly rescued the Aussies from calamity in the second Test when they
were 4 wickets down for about ten......scoring 97 not out.
After a deserved round of applause,he was presented amidst much merriment
and mirth with a video of "England's Greatest Cricketers..from Grace
to Gower" well.....it
was either that or a booklet on how to play the leg glance.
By this time the party was degenerating into a karaoke-led caterwauling
led by Tricky Dickey Beaumont's "Stairway to Heaven" and Rod Linn singing
something so awful.......it put a neutered cat to shame.........it finally
led to the waiters coming in and telling us all to go and take the singing
Lord Linn with us.
So.that was it........some of the boys and girls went on to the infamous
Pig and Whistle......home of the three murdered Iranians.It's closing down
next week by the way.
Farewell Party on Wednesday night there should be a good one.
Thanks of course to Lawrence for all his hard work (thanks for the Hampshire
C.C. shirt) and to Rod Linn for finally seeing the light and agreeing to
dump Q.P.R and become a Norwich City supporter.
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